There is no shame in needing a reminder
I took a virtual course on neuroscience for coaches years ago, before virtual training fatigue was commonplace. The course used a lot of metaphors. It was a “short circuit” for the brain to make sense of and explore something. It “turned up the volume” on your brain's inherent creativity.
At the time, the idea that the brain could change was new. (Thank you, science and research).
One metaphor, used to describe brain change, stuck out for me.
Building new brain paths
Imagine there’s a lot of snow between your house and your mailbox. You’ve walked so often in that snow to collect the mail that there’s a well trodden path. You take it every day.
Now imagine there’s another way to get to the mailbox. At first it’ll feel hard as you step through the deep snow. It may not be easy to find when another storm hits and covers it. But it’s still there.
Building that new path with repetition is a lot like what it requires to change the responses in your brain. The more you take the new path, the easier it’ll be to take. The old, original path will disappear over time.
Beyond the effort to build the new path, a bigger challenge exists: remembering the new path when you walk out the door.
The original path is so well worn, easy, automatic. You’re not used to engaging your brain when you walk to get the mail, so when you walk out the door, something needs to catch your attention to remind your brain to choose the new path.
Transformation requires the new path
Our programs help women build new paths. The experience of walking those new paths is transformational. Women change the way they think about and approach their entire careers.
They stop complying with society’s expectations without considering what they want. They include, not exclude, their desires. They look to others less and to their own intuition more. They see themselves as leaders and develop their personal leadership style.
Like the path to the mailbox, the destination for women may not change. Often it does, but it’s not a requirement. In either case, they build a path for themselves, with the support of others, that feels good to walk.
How to use a structure to develop a new path
At the close of our last program, a woman shared her surprise with the shifts she experienced in the program. They were small. Accessible. Easeful. Yet the impact was so big.
We designed it to be that way. We build the new path bit by bit.
Each week when we gather as a community, women remember the new path they are building. They serve as that reminder for one another. Every single week. Over and over again.
Then the program ends. But women walk away with one of our favorite ways to keep the reminder going: a structure.
In our programs, a structure is something that helps you keep your learning alive. You use it to stay on track and accountable to the new path you’ve formed. It’s a bit like a signpost on your path.
Structures can be something physical, such as:
A post-it note with a word written across it on your bathroom mirror.
An outfit that symbolizes a particular learning.
A picture of you shining in all your brilliance.
A piece of jewelry you wear daily.
A vision board hanging in your closet.
Or structures can be something less tangible but equally evocative, such as:
A bold screen saver that makes your heart jump in a good way.
A mid-day reminder on your phone to take a walk.
A daily song or movie clip that makes you feel fearless.
A text message thread that collects celebrations with your favorite ladies.
Any structure you choose is support for the moment when you walk out the door to the mailbox. It’s a reminder there’s a different path available to you.
Over time the reminder will expire, because the new path will become automatic. Because, science. The brain can change.
Call for Reflection
What is a new learning you’ve uncovered? What is important about that learning? What do you want to remember? Pick a structure that will serve as a reminder to keep that learning alive.
Shine On,
Alicia