Leadership has 2 sides. One is often forgotten.

We’ve been teaching a beginning-of-year workshop to groups of women for years, designed to provide value in the season of “new year” buzz. 

Like most of our programming, this workshop is different from the dominant landscape — it’s goal setting AND more. Yes, it supports women in getting clear about what they want. But it’s different in that it goes way beyond what women plan to DO for the year. It includes reflection and intention around who women want to BE throughout the year. 

The often-ignored half of the leadership equation

Our euro-centric culture focuses heavily on the DO of leadership. The things you’re going to build. The visible accomplishments you drive toward. All the ways you plan to move the needle and change. These are all the things you’ll put action and effort toward. 

This is only half of the consideration about what it means to be a leader. 

The part skipped over is who you are BEING when you do any of those things. These are the qualities you embody and focus on bringing forward in how you interact with your world.

Take a moment right now to bring to mind a leader you admire. What is it that you admire about that person? Is it something they accomplished?

Our guess is that’s not what stands out to you. 

What makes you admire that person is who they were as they accomplished those things. Their passion, integrity or fierceness. These are the things that set someone apart. We want you to stand out equally for who you are as much as for what you do.

When we talk about leadership, we encourage women to focus on both: the DO and the BE.

Take last year, for example. All the desires of what to DO in the year vanished with COVID. This is a poignant example, but circumstances shift like this constantly. And most of us want flexibility built into our goals. Action-oriented goals and dreams can feel restrictive as time passes.

The benefits of setting intentions around BEING instead of DOING

Orienting toward who you want to BE is beneficial for so many reasons. 

1. It’s more stable and consistent. 
Who you want to be is always available no matter how much circumstances shift. You have far more control over who you BE than what you DO. When your goals become irrelevant, the BEING of your vision is still available. 

2. It’s a thread available through your whole life. 
So many women we work with want a reference point across their work and personal lives. You can BE a quality across your work and personal self. 

3. It simplifies your options.
Focusing first on the BEING side of leadership simplifies options for what to do. We all like to hunt for the right thing to do, which is challenging, because right is relative. Choosing actions aligned with who you want to BE creates a sense of rightness. Regardless of the outcome, you know why you chose an action.  

4. It has a lasting impact. 
Take a moment to reflect on the great people in your life. What comes to mind about what makes them great? Chances are the things that stick out to you are all related to their BEING.  Yes, they DO things, but those are not what strike your heart and mind. It’s the quality of those people that leaves its mark. 

How to set intentions around BEING

Here’s what this looks like in practice.

When I look at some of my DO visions for myself in this moment, they are: 

• Continue enrolling women who want what our programs offer.

• Hire a team of coaches and facilitators for the first time.

• Find alignment and ease in co-parenting with my husband.

• Navigate a new normal for myself and family in a post-COVID world.

Reviewing the list overwhelms me. The question that emerges for me is "how is it all going to happen?”

When I take a metaphorical step back and ask myself who I need to BE to create those things, ease emerges. 

I need to be clear. 

     Clear in my desires and expectations about the team we hire.
    Clear in what I want and need in relationship with my husband.
     Clear with myself around supportive boundaries.
     Clear is the thread. 

Clear hasn’t always been a way of BEING for me. I’ve struggled with being vague. I've feared putting down a stake. I've feared turning people off from me and our programs. Vague is my default. 

The intention to BE CLEAR frees me. 

Before I decide which action to take, I can ask myself what I might do to create clarity. After I’ve taken action, I can ask myself how well I delivered against my intention of being clear. I can even enroll others to offer input on where I've provided clarity or confusion.

Call for reflection

When you find yourself questioning what to do or how to do something, we invite you to free yourself momentarily from the DOING. Instead ask yourself who you want to BE. Then proceed in any direction that allows for you to BE that woman.

Shine On,
Alicia