One thing that can kill dreams instantly
I find myself nervous to write an article that suggests in any way you should not care about money.
In the latter part of my tech career, I made a big mistake by not thinking about money. I’d managed to negotiate a 2x salary increase. I was making more than enough money to feel secure and comfortable, more than I’d ever imagined I’d earn. I owned equity that was growing in value. It all felt like enough. Money was not the thing that motivated me.
Divesting from money in career conversations derailed what I most wanted: management. My company gave me people to grow my organization, but none reported to me. I held a management-like role, but I was not technically anyone’s manager.
The people who came into my organization, unlike me, focused on money, and it paid off. Each of them made more money than I did. Had they come into my direct reporting structure, the company would’ve had to increase my salary. Instead, the company found a solution that freed them from spending money unnecessarily. Increasing my salary wasn't necessary, because I hadn't made it so.
The mistake I made was framing it as an either or, both in my mind and in conversations with my management team. I could have asked for more money AND direct reports.
Yes, money can be important, even when you feel you're fairly compensated. But it can also become too central if you let it.
Money is not the most important focus
A recent client conversation highlighted when money becomes too central a focus. I work with a C-suite client who’s been planning for the next phase of their career. They’ve done a phenomenal job of building and empowering a management team to run the business. They want to transition their role to a board advisor. This will open up space to pivot to a new industry and phase of life. My client had been building on this momentum in our work for more than a year.
One thing halted that momentum: the prospect of selling the company and making a lot of money. That option has strings attached. A component of the deal requires them to lead the team within the new company for a set time.
This in itself is not a bad decision to make. Yet I noticed money became the central focus of our conversations. Their vision for the next phase disappeared into the background.
What happens when money takes center stage
Part of my role as their coach is to resurface what they’d communicated was most important to them. It had never been money. Surfacing this fact was critical so they could do one of two things:
1. Make a decision likely to deliver what was most important.
2. Consciously consider the tradeoff they were making by shelving their desires for now.
I see this same focus on money circumvent desires when I coach people who are looking for a new position. It's tempting to choose the position that pays the most money. And sometimes a position that pays less honors more of what you want.
Knowing what IS most important to you
Identifying what you want can be hard work for women. Centering your desires is counter to messaging we receive. Society teaches us to take care of others before we take care of ourselves.
A simple place to start surfacing what you want is to look into the decisions you're making. With each decision, ask yourself what's most important to you. What would make a decision good? What do you want a decision to satisfy for you? These are your desires. Trust what comes, even if it isn’t logical.
When you know what you want, you can track and celebrate how and when you honor those desires. Each decision that includes what you are wanting is a step into leadership, your way. It’s aligning yourself to how you show up in the world.
Building this practice is likely to raise questions from people in your world. That’s a good sign — you’re differentiating yourself from the masses. Often the decisions that shock others are the ones that most honor you.
Call for Reflection:
If you took money off the table, what are you most wanting in your career right now?
Shine on,
Alicia