My Ask for Help
In late June 2016, I set an intention to ask a group of hand selected women for help in navigating a break up. I've included my email transcript to those women below. I've also written a blog post detailing what I learned over the 60 days. My future plans to incorporate this experiment into my work are evolving, but I can say confidently that I am driven by the mission to "Be the person who initiates the conversation about the power of asking for help and eliminates the fear in doing so."
If we throw it back 20+ years, do you remember all those chain letters that used to float into your life? The ones that required a pen, paper, stamp AND mailbox. The wishes you created and the intentions you set out into the world, daydreaming about how far your impact would reach into the world?
This is my version of a chain letter and I am writing you (yes, you!) for two reasons:
You are a woman who inspires me. And a part of my bad ass woman tribe.
I need help
Asking for help is really hard, especially for women. We know we can, but we prefer not to because we are naturally built to “handle” things. Asking for help is really scary. And I am scared. Right now in this very moment.
I have a hunger for a perspective that makes the world feel huge and full of possibilities. The energy in my body is palpable and I am being called on to be bold. I know that I can “do it” on my own, but I want to stretch myself. I believe there is a real big gift sitting just beneath this ask for help and I want to unwrap it.
What am I asking you for?
I want your help to re-establish a rhythm in my life without the guy. I'm looking to build a fresh routine around closing each night with something other than a conversation with my significant other. Breakups suck and losing that routine feels like a loss. I want power over that loss. I want this breakup to look different and you can help me find perspective.
Choose a date in the next 60 days, using this link. When you select a day, I will know it is our day together (I will get a cool email alert) and I ask that you mark it on your calendar. When that day arises, hold me in your awareness and I too will be holding you. At the end of the day, send me a text message (or email) to say hello and a snippet of what our day together created for you. Remind me, on our day, that I am not alone.
Why stop here? This is the part that I want FOR YOU. I challenge you to ask for help. To tap into your tribe. Pick something that feels like it could use a little extra intention and love from a community bigger than you. Name it and think about what would ease a bit of your discomfort. Then, ask for help. Send an email to your women tribe making a specific ask for help. I trust you to know what ask will bring you a little clarity, a new perspective, and a lot of love. Make the same request of your tribe to ask for help. Please include me in your email.
Why am I asking for help?
We can all use a little help, but this time feels especially ripe for me.
I am launching a coaching business and the success of my business will depend on people opting into help. My success will also depend on my ability to ask for help. This is a baby step.
In my coaching business, I challenge clients to stretch themselves to discover untapped territory in their lives. This is my stretch. I can’t ask something of a client that I am unwilling to do myself.
I want to believe in something big. I want to stand in the power of our impact, together. I want to see what opens up by asking for help and being there to receive it. To witness this impact across all of our tribes.
My promise to you
I will hold, in each of the next 60 days, gratitude for each of you, my women tribe. I will also share with you, at the end of 60 days, the shift you’ve helped to create in my life and what I’ve learned by challenging each of you to ask for help.