How do you trust an experience you have never had?

Bold moves require a belief that things are possible. Things that we cannot quite understand because we have never ventured down that particular path before. On our journeys, we come face to face with confirmation biasA set of tricks that our minds and critical voices introduce so we retreat from the dream for our futures. Tricks that bring our focus to any part of our journey that confirm our deep fears. We seek out evidence that supports a story that things are not possible.

We will never succeed, because we never have.

We will not get a promotion, because we never have.

We will not find and keep love, because we never have.

We will not find joy in this community, because we didn’t in the last.

We will not find balance at work, because we have not to this point.

We will not find work we enjoy, because we have not found it yet.

How do you trust an experience you have never had?

We can combat confirmation bias by building evidence. We create a way to visibly see our progress and a method for looking back upon it at times when the path ahead loses it’s clarity. This is foundational for believing that we can step into the lives that we want to lead. That we are capable of change. That intention and action can dance together in perfect harmony.

A belief that we are not capable of change loses significance when we have a system for tracking the ways we have changed. A belief that we have not changed and cannot change is forced to the background by understanding how we are showing up differently in the present moment. A belief that we only invite bad things into our lives gets knocked on it’s head when we raise our awareness of the choices we make to open our lives differently.

When we open our eyes to the possibility of something different, we begin to see things differently. Seeing things differently builds trust that things can be different.

A former client emailed me this week celebrating that something we’d focussed on together  was now coming easily to her. Even more, she found a new meaning about why that particular behavioral pattern stopped serving a purpose in her life, making the choice for a new pattern that much easier. Unlearning a pattern takes work. Doing so in less than 6 months is remarkable. We are capable of making great strides in a short period of time. When she decides to stretch for something previously out of  reach, the circumstances will be different because she is different. She is now a woman without that pattern.

Aha moments will not come to us unless we are open to receiving them.

Coaching rises a client above their confirmation bias. It introduces a place of power where trust leads the way. A coach is a witness to a client in the way they truly are in the world - a version bigger than what shows up in any particular circumstance. They introduce awareness of what else exists by standing in curiosity and listening to clients differently than most of the relationships in our lives. They hold the vision we want for ourselves when it feels like too much to hold. They remind us of the person we want to be and help us stand into our trust that experiences we’ve never had await us.


How will you commit to tracking your changes?

Who will you ask to support you in doing so?